A summer of trusting Jeremiah 29:11

A year ago I would have never thought that my family would be living in Florida. A year ago I would have never thought that my family would grow by one. A year ago I would have never thought my family would be living in three different states. And that is the awesome part about God’s plan for our lives; we don’t know what’s going to happen we just have to remember that God’s plan for us is perfect.

I feel that a lot of my posts are about trusting God’s plan but that’s because this past year I’ve really had to do just that. It’s easy to say that you trust God’s plan for your life but when you are hit with so many changes at once it’s hard to believe that everything is going to work out. This has been a summer of growth, a summer to test the strength of my relationship with God, and a summer to test the strength of my relationships with family and friends. I have never felt Satan trying so hard to make me fail. Situation after situation I felt that the world was against me and now as I write this post I have never felt stronger.

A few days ago I had a friend ask, “Where do you want to see yourself in a year?” All I could say was, teaching somewhere in an upper elementary classroom. My friend asked me where I thought I saw myself and I couldn’t decide where. The friend then asked me if I had to choose a place where it would be. I said I would have to think about it but I already knew the answer to that question. I didn’t want to choose a place because I want to be open to where ever God leads me. God knows the desires of my heart and he knows how strong I am and I trust he will guide me to the right school in the right town and state. It’s funny to try to answer questions about the future because most of the time we’re not going to be right.

This same friend had a plan while he was in college. He was going to stay single the first year, the second year he would start dating, find that special someone and get engaged by the time he was 22. Well that wasn’t exactly how it turned out.  We can’t predict how our life is going to be. We can’t plan it out step by step. Our God is so powerful and wonderful and he decides the, who, what, where, when, and why. (Yes, I feel like I’m back in elementary school with the 5 w’s.)  

I ran into an awkward situation the other day and if you know me you know that I enjoy awkward moments, however this one not so much. I prayed so much that night and felt so good afterwards and the next morning I received an email from a friend and this is what she sent me,

Hey Hannah!
I just want you to be encouraged and know that I prayed for you today. You were in my dream last night, and sometimes I feel that God puts people in my dreams so that I pray for them. So I hope that you are encouraged and know that I'm praying for God's love to pour out abundantly into your life and for His guidance in each step.
 

I honestly believe that I had such a great day yesterday because of her prayer. I enjoyed some time outside in the sun reading an awesome book that everyone should read, The Fred Factor, and then enjoyed some time with my sister. I had completely forgotten about what happened the day before and felt so good about myself. It was a step forward in the right direction.  Let’s just say God has been reminding me daily of his power and love.

                I love reading my old posts and since I haven’t written anything all summer it was really strange to read them all again. It’s hard to believe that this summer has only been three and a half months long because I don’t even feel like the same person that wrote all those other posts. I think it’s because I have fallen deeper in love with God and I don’t regret anything that happened this summer no matter how difficult it has been and continues to be. God is strong enough for all of us in those times or trials and we should never forget that.

Here am I, All of me, Take my life, it's all for Thee.

Holy crap! I do realize that it has been a very long time since I posted a new blog and now there are two blogs in one night. There is a good reason for that though. I couldn’t post the one about moving until it was announced in church and then I kind of forgot to post it after that. The other reason is because I have been extremely busy in the last few weeks because I only have a week left of school! I can’t believe that I am almost done with my junior year of college. I’m definitely growing up way too fast and I don’t like that. I was kind of hoping I could just stay young the rest of my life. Well I should probably update you on what’s going on in my life. Here’s a quick over view because let’s face it, I’m still busy and should probably be writing my lesson plan instead of writing another blog.

Plain and Simple: there are three things I learned this year.

1.     Someday your family is going to change.

Let’s face it eventually my family would have changed. It will continue to grow through marriage and having kids (which is awkward to say because I am now where near either of those options) but it will grow. I’m still not sure how the situation with Sandrina will go but my family has changed.

2.    Life is never easy but God is in control.

A year ago I would have never imagined that I would be where I am today and that my family would be moving to Florida and possibly adopting. God’s plan is so much greater than I could ever have imagined. And let me tell you it has definitely not been an easy ride. There are still roadblocks that pop up but God is helping us through those each day, we just have to continue to rely on him and live to love the way he loves us.

3.    Be yourself.

If there was one thing I wish I could change it would be that since I got to college I wouldn’t have been so afraid to be the person God created me to be. I have listened to what movies, t.v, and magazines tell me I should be way too long and I’m working towards loving myself the way God perfectly and specially created me to be. The thing wrong with me is that I don’t fully love myself the way I should. I promise this will change because when you realize there are more important things in life than how you dress or how much you weigh, you won’t waste any more time worry about the worldly things. 

Embracing Change

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “Plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.”

                                      Jeremiah 29:11

It’s really easy to read the verse and believe it. God’s plan for us is perfect and it gives us a hope for the future. It’s harder to believe that whole heartedly when difficult events are going on in life. These last nine months have been very challenging, draining, emotional, and really hard to understand. So I guess with that I should probably start to write from the very beginning.

Nine months ago my family all helped out at Kids Camp. It’s something our church college group organizes, where kids from Milwaukee and Chicago can come to Gibbsville and experience a weekend out of the city. It was a powerful weekend and on the last night we had a bonfire. Sam sat by the fire talking to this girl about life and how she just really wished she could live here in Gibbsville and have a family. Well of course our hearts were touched and we wanted to help her. We kind of jokingly told my dad we should adopt her. We always wanted out parents to adopt a baby…apparently we thought it would be the same to welcome a 15 year old into the family. Well only a few months later and several weekend visits Sandrina moved in with us. She spent Thanksgiving with our family and it had been fun yet challenging. I knew that Christmas break was really going to challenge me because by being at school I didn’t really have to confront the change yet. And oh boy was I right about being challenged during that month. I don’t think I have ever been this jealous before. It has been really difficult and hurtful for me to see my dad give his attention to Sandrina when I have been fighting for it since I can remember with youth group kids and church events. It continues to be difficult and somehow I have to trust that everything is going to work out and be okay. Just gotta keep telling myself, God’s plan is perfect.

In addition with struggling to embrace this change in our family I have struggled with being single. I know that God’s timing is perfect but it just had been on my mind a lot because of close friends being in relationships and wanting that too. Plus for some reason I thought having a boyfriend would at least be one good thing going on in my life. Well it turns out God hasn’t agreed with me and like I keep telling myself that if I have to wait for the right guy to come along who is going to love and cherish me the way God does then I will just keep on waiting. When that guy finally comes along it will be that much more rewarding and special. Just gotta keep telling myself, God’s plan is perfect.

Now on top of everything on going with Sandrina and singleness God, has surprised us by leading our family in a new direction.  A year ago my parents had mentioned to us kids that my dad had this desire and dream to start a church and it just so happened that they were looking to start a few new churches in Florida. Wow Florida, seems pretty cool huh, well at the time I guess that whole distance thing didn’t cross my mind. Well that dream my dad has is coming true. So exciting and yet so scary. Yep you heard me correctly, my family is moving to Florida at the end of this summer to start a church. This would be a lot easier if we didn’t have so many amazing friends within our church, a great community and family nearby. It’s hard not to cry when I think about how many changes there are going to be. I’ve always lived close to my Aunt Gert (if you’ve met her you can imagine how hard this is for us) and I just can’t imagine living 24 hours away from her. That’s not exactly a trip you can make to go out to lunch, hangout for the night, or have sleepovers (yes we’re that cool). I can’t imagine moving away from the friends I have grown so close to since I graduated high school. One of the reasons I decided to go to Hope was because it was still pretty close to home….well that’s about to change. But I keep reminding myself that God provides and continues to show us how.

My awesome, wise, and witty brother has decided to come to Hope and I seriously could not be more thankful. He has been such a blessing in my life and such a great role model for me. Having him here for my last year (scary) is going to be so much fun. My roommate and I already decided that we’re going to every single one of his home football games and yell stupid things that he will hope not to hear. I’m not sure what’s going to happen with Sandrina but I just have a really good feeling that it’s all going to work out. God doesn’t give us more than we can handle and I know that will remain true. I do understand now that it doesn’t always mean it’s going to be easy breezy. As for being single, I know that it’s going to take a really unique and special guy to be with me.  So I guess I can wait.

To finish this blog I want to leave you with a few words and a song.

The song is Before the Morning by Josh Wilson. Sam had me listen to it the other day and it couldn’t be more fitting for what we have been going through. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=New8i_eX3x8

The words I want to leave with are from Romans 8:28 and it says this,

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

Patience

So you know how you look back at something you wrote in middle school and you just keep laughing at how ridiculous you were when you actually thought you were really cool? I just experienced that. I have just spent two hours on myspace looking at the stupid pictures I thought I looked “hot” in and the image I was trying to portray. Ridiculous. But I guess that is part of middle school. I think that’s where it starts at least. When you start realizing you care what you look like, what you wear, if your hair is frizzy or glued down to your head. (horrible middle school fashion at the time). And from that point on beauty and image just become part of your everyday life. Stupid middle school. Middle school boys weren’t even cute at that stage. Seriously, go back to a year book and look at how awkward everyone looks. J So this whole myspace and image incident, what has come of it?

I don’t know. I wrote this last night and tonight I just have no clue where I was going with that. But I do know that tonight I was reminded again that God created me in his perfect image. It doesn’t matter if there isn’t a single guy at Hope College, land of pretty skinny girls, good looking guys and RELATIONSHIPS, that doesn’t think I’m attractive because there is some guy out there will cherish me as much as God does. And that guy will be worth the painful wait. 

Growing Up

So this week has been a bit of an emotional roller coaster for me. Okay when I say this week I mean the last two days.  Sunday afternoon I did not want to go back to Hope because all I wanted to do was stay at home and be with my family.  I knew that the next four weeks would happen all too quick and I had way too much to do in that little time. Majorly stressed out after spring break, which didn’t leave me feeling ready to conquer the rest of the semester, I hadn’t back to my house on campus. Sunday night I cried. All I could do was cry and think about everything that I had to do, all the changes that were going on, and how much I missed my whole family. Monday morning I went to class and chapel and then cried on the phone to my mom. Once again I was thinking of all those same things and other things that were brought up again. I had the afternoon to do homework and took a little nap and then journeyed over to my next class. I cried in class, for a completely different reason than any already stated. But when I left that class there was one thing that told me I was going to be okay.

Saturday, March 19, one of my professors passed away. She was in her early 30’s and pregnant with her first child. She died after suffering complications due to premature childbirth. Her baby boy Solomon is still living and still in the hospital getting stronger each day.

Professor Young was one of the craziest professors I ever had. She had more energy and joy on her worst day than I had on my best. She didn’t have an inside voice and she rarely ever stopped talking. She taught my more about myself in one chaotic, unorganized class than any of my other profs. And if there is one thing she taught me it is always be thankful for what we have.

I have been complaining and worried about what my life is going to be like these last couple of weeks: where will I live when I graduate? Will I be able to find a teaching job? Will I get married? Will I ever see my college friends again? I have been worry about things that God has planned already. I didn’t feel in control because I never was in control. It’s easy to say I will but all my trust in God, it’s a lot harder to do. There is a bible verse that my roomie and I have had on our white board all year that I think is a great reminder for everyone.

“Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about the things we cannot see.” Hebrews 11:1

There is also a song that I heard for the first time this week. It’s by Matthew West and it’s called The Reason for the World. Here’s the link, take a few minutes to really listen to it. Love you all!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=swKPS9q7rMU

The Missing Piece Meets the BIG O

Blog time: YAY!

I enjoy every moment I get to sit down and add to this blog. It is so great to just write about what’s on my mind.  Now as some of you may know the title of this blog is the title of a book written by Shel Silverstein. I got three books in the mail today from my awesome Aunt Joy.  It was great to read them this afternoon and reflect on what their message was.

Lately I have just been feeling well about who I am. I haven’t been spending as much time worrying about what I am wearing or what my hair looks or if my makeup is perfect. I’m working on finding the natural beauty that God has given me and continue to embrace it each day. For the last five days I have been minimizing my makeup.  Today I started the next thing and that is not spending so much time on my hair. The straightener and blow dryer have done enough damage to my hair that I need to stop doing that, plus God has given these wavy curls so why shouldn’t I embrace those too.

So with that little update I will now explain these books.

The Missing Piece – Shel Silverstein

The Missing Piece Meets the BIG O – Shel Silverstein

You are Special – Max Lucado

I sat down during lunch and read through all three of them and although all of them were really great the one that stuck out to me the most of the second one listed there. I’ll write it up for you. It shouldn’t take that long to read but it will be worth it when you are done

The missing piece sat alone…

waiting for someone to come along and take it somewhere.

Some fit…

But could not roll.

Others could roll but did not fit.

One didn’t know a thing about fitting.

And another didn’t know a thing about anything.

One was too delicate.

One put it on a pedestal…

And left it there.

Some had too many missing pieces.

Some had too many pieces, period.

It learned to hide from the hungry ones.

More came. Some looked too closely,

Others rolled right by without noticing.

It tried to make itself more attractive…

It didn’t help.

It tried to be flashy

But that just frightened away the shy ones.

At last one came along that fit just right.

But all of a sudden…

The missing piece began to grow!

And grow!

“I didn’t know you were going to grow.”

“I didn’t know it either,” said the missing piece.

“I’m lookin’ for my missin’ piece, one that won’t increase….”

And then one day, one came along who looked different.

“What do you want of me?” asked the missing piece.

“Nothing.”

“What do you need from me?”

“Nothing.”

“Who are you?” asked the missing piece.

“I am the Big O,” said the Big O.

“I think you are the one I have been waiting for,” said the missing piece. “Maybe I am your missing piece.”

“But I am not missing piece,” said the Big O.

“There is no place you would fit.”

“That is too bad,” said the missing piece.

“I was hoping that perhaps I could roll with you…”

“You cannot roll with me,” said the Big O, “but perhaps you can roll by yourself.”

“By myself? A missing piece cannot roll by itself.”

“Have you ever tried?” asked the Big O.

“But I have sharp corners,” said the missing piece. “I am not shaped for rolling.”

“Corners wear off,” said the Big O, “and shapes change, Anyhow, I must say good-bye. Perhaps we will meet again….”

And away it rolled.

The missing piece was alone again.

For a long time it just sat there.

Then…

Slowly…

It lifted itself up on one end…

And flopped over.

Then lift…pull…flop…

It began to move forward…

And soon its edges began to wear off…

Liftpullflopliftpullflop…

And its shape began to change…

And then it was bumping instead of flopping…

And then it was bouncing instead of bumping…

And then it was rolling instead of bouncing…

And it didn’t know where and it didn’t care.

It was rolling!

I can start rolling by myself and stop trying to be someone’s missing piece. And soon enough when I’m rolling along all be able to roll beside someone else.

This is the stuff

It’s hard to believe that yesterday was only Wednesday. This week has gone so slow but all day yesterday I knew exactly what I was going to write my next blog on and now I’m glad that I have to sit down and actually write it.

So yesterday was a very special kind of day. You know those days that you can just tell are going to be a good day and then you actually go somewhere or do something but then it isn’t how you imagined it you wonder how it could possibly still be a good day.

I started out the day by waking up 45 minutes later than I planned on and got ready in time to still go get coffee. Granted I did not get to shower and I looked like crap I was convinced it was going to be a great day.

We were almost to Lemonjellos when we came upon this big puddle where the sidewalk crosswalk met. Well I thought I could jump over it like Kels but I, of course, tripped and got completely soaked from my neck down. I’m not quite sure how that happened since I didn’t really fall but I proceed to just laugh and walk to class wet. I got my coffee, went to class, even participated and then went to chapel. I was still convinced that even though I had been wet all morning that it was still going to be a great day.

After chapel I walked back to the cottage and saw that I had a parking ticket. Great, Hope’s parking tickets are 2 ½ times as much as the city of Holland’s. Well I put in an appeal and hoped for the best and continued to try and have a good day.

I relaxed in the afternoon and went to my next class and it ended early which was great because I had to leave early anyway to go volunteer with some friends at the Holland Rescue Mission. This is where the good day actually started.

Helping out at the Holland Rescue Mission was incredible. I helped serve food with some awesome friends of mine and then got the opportunity to talk some of the men at the Mission. I heard some amazing stories of these men coming to know Christ. It was incredible hearing a young man’s story. His name is Frankie and he is 19 years old. He felt that he needed to share his testimony with us. It was amazing. I’m not going to elaborate because I’ll post it on here soon. He gave one of the guys a copy of it so I’ll be able to have exactly what he said you’ll be hearing Frankie and not me. But he wants us to share it with as many people as we can. It was such a great experience.

The rest of the day was great too. My clothes dried and my parking ticket was reduced to a warning and God continues to get my attention in crazy ways but continues to bless me each day. There’s a song by Francesca Battistelli that relates to this day it’s called, This is the stuff. Check it out, click on the weird symbols below and it should bring you right to the song! J 

This is the Stuff

Awkward Moments

I love awkward moments. It’s true yes.  It’s also true that at the moment something awkward occurs it’s not the greatest but eventually you’re able to laugh about it and it’s hilarious.

This morning as I was on my way to chapel with Jana there was a guy a few yards away who Jana thought she knew. She yelled, “KYLE!” and started crazy waving. If you hadn’t just been running I would have busted out laughing because right away I knew that wasn’t Kyle. It was a funny awkward moment. No harm done.

Last night I had to watch a movie for class, The scarlet letter. ( I don’t recommend it). There was frontal male nudity and female nudity. Not to mention I was watching this with one of my housemates that is in the class with me and a guy from our class. Awkward moment made more awkward by our conversation to avoid the awkward movie.

A few days after getting back from winter break I was in chapel and I was saying hi to everyone that I hadn’t seen since last semester. Well my roomie’s boyfriend was there and he started walking toward me with his arms open. (Naturally one would think that means a hug is coming, right?) Well, it’s not awkward giving a friend you haven’t seen in a while a hug but when you go in for a hug you think is coming and the other person says, “Oh, we’re gonna hug.” Awkward moment.

I texted a guy friend in my sleep telling him I liked him. AWKWARD MOMENT!

I was just in the library and my friend farted and it smelled soooooooooo bad. I almost died. Well this table next to us could smell it too and one of our other friends practically yelled across the library, “WHO FARTED?” She then proceeded to tell everyone how awful it smelled. Well needless to say we were all busting up laughing and crying from the situation. For my friend this was awkward (and embarrassing) and it was hilarious.

These awkward moments create some of the funniest and best memories. Embrace them.

Why worry?

The other day I was really stressed about where my friends and I were going to live next year. It’s been a difficult process since we tried making sure that we didn’t offend any of our friends or leave anyone out. We searched and contemplated living in about 8 different places, that might be a stretch but you get the point. Well we did all this worrying and for what? We have a place to live everything worked out AND we will be living close to some of our other really close friends. So it’s going to be a great senior year. (Yes, I’m sure about half of you just shuddered at the word because I know I did.)

            Well during this whole ordeal this week I was also loaded with homework in a two day period and was really overwhelmed thinking I wasn’t going to get half of it done. I got most of it done before bed on Tuesday and just sat in bed thinking about what I still had to do and worried about what Wednesday would bring. I got up at 8:45. That’s only 45 minutes later than I had planned on getting up for my 9:30 class. I hadn’t showered since Sunday afternoon? See when you can’t remember when you last showered it’s been too long. Well what’s another day added to that, so I got up put on jeans and a sweatshirt, brushed my teeth and was ready to leave at 9:05. I don’t think I have ever been ready that early. Well I walk to class with a girl that I live with and I was waiting for her to come down. I called up to her room and didn’t get a response so I walked up there and she was still in bed, panicked and got ready in about 7 minutes. We left the house by 9:17. Not bad, that’s about the normal time we leave and we get to class right in time but we had really wanted to get coffee before class. Well we got to the corner by the coffee shop and it was 8:23. We both looked at each other and said, “How did that happen?” It usually takes us like 10 minutes to walk to class. Well we clearly had time to get coffee and walked inside and then we didn’t know what we wanted and when we left it felt like we had been in there longer than 4 minutes according to our clocks. We walked to class and still got there a minute before class. It didn’t feel like real life. Well in class our Professor told us that we wouldn’t be having class on Friday or Monday. This was starting to be a great day and I had done all that worrying for nothing. (Sorry that was a really long short story that only Kels and I will think is cool.)

            This all got be thinking about why we should not worry so much. Of course I’ll worry at times, that’s just our nature but we need to remind ourselves that what we think is going to happen and what God has been are sometimes further apart than we could have ever imagined. What do we really know about this world? How do we know what is going to happen? It’s plain and simple: we don’t. Here’s the crazy thing about God, it doesn’t matter what we say or what others say, he is the omnipotent and with him ANYTHING is possible. There are many things that I have learned within the last few months actually that have been crazy awesome God moments and miracles.

1.      Miracle: I learned that when doctors say, “It is almost impossible for you to have a baby,” what he is really saying is, “Clearly I don’t know a God that is all powerful.”   My parents were told they wouldn’t be able to have kids and now they have 3. 1-God,  0-Doctors.  I have two cousins who were told that it would be nearly impossible for them to have any kids or anymore kids. One just had a beautiful baby girl and my other cousin who already has a rockin’ little son is expecting a second child. 3-God 0-Doctors. I am positive there are several other cases like this. We just need to continue to be in prayer and ask God for guidance and for us to be patient with HIS plan for us.

2.      Moment: As many of you know I have an awesome younger brother who I used to think was as annoying as a mosquito buzzing by my face and I would pick on him any chance I got. Well times have changed and now he’s not the little boy that I always picked on. For one of his college applications he had to write an essay and he saved it on my laptop. I found it the other day and couldn’t help myself from tearing up because of what a great example he has been for me in my walk with Christ. He has grown up to be such a great young man and as much as I’d love for him to come to Hope next year I know that where  ever God leads him he is going to be a great spiritual leader.

3.      Moment: Yesterday in chapel the worship team sang a new song and the lyrics were:

Why do I worry?

Why do I freak out?

God knows my needs

God is in control

Or something close to that. It was the perfect reminder to the start of my Friday.

4.      Miracle: I just spent the evening being a third wheel and I didn’t want to kill myself every 2 minutes. Seriously though it wasn’t that bad except the continual reminders that I remain single and will until God decides I’m ready.

So wake up each morning asking God, “ Help me to live my life and giving you all the glory in everything I do. And help me to be patient for the times when what I have planned doesn’t work out. To not worry and to remember you are in control.”

Who am I?

I was in a funk this weekend. Reality just hit and I just had this feeling of not really know who I am, how am I living out my daily life to glorify God, and who I want to be. I was being really dependent on my friends and they became my identity. If someone asked, “Who’s Hannah Schouten,” a handful would say, “oh she hangs out with so and so.” I want people to get to know the real me. The Hannah that isn’t afraid to do something because her friends aren’t. Don’t get me wrong I absolutely love my friends, a lot.  Here are a few things that I am working on to head towards the improved Hannah. J

1.       I’ve challenged myself to do a few things that my friends are necessarily involved in. The first being that I am once again involved with the Hope College Softball team. Say hello to the new manager! I’m really excited about this and to be a part of the team again even if it is in a way I would have never expected. The second thing is that I am auditioning to be a part of the worship team at school. This for the last couple of years has been a big fear of mine. I try not to doubt the talent that God has given me, but growing up in the shadows of an amazing singing sister hasn’t been a smooth road. I haven’t told a lot of people because I don’t want to be disappointed in myself if I don’t make it but now you all know. Prayers would be excellent. Prayers that I may be reminded daily that I am doing this to give God all the glory, not to perform for others.

2.       In my previous blog I wrote about some of my struggles with body image. Tonight I was talking to a friend who has similar struggles and we decided that would we keep each other accountable and to work on getting and feeling healthy. Starting with just walking each day. Seems simple enough. Well of course I come back to my room with high expectations that by the end of the summer I’ll be a size 6 (with long hair J) and all the guys will finally want to date me and I’ll have the satisfaction of saying, “What was wrong with me before?” And maybe, just maybe I’ll make them feel bad for the way they made me feel. Then I realized that is not the right attitude either. I need to do this for myself and to feel good about myself.

3.       Have fun and laugh.  What’s the point of life if you aren’t enjoying it? Sometimes I get overwhelmed with homework and class that it’s hard to just find time to have coffee with a friend. The first thing I need to do is spend less time on Facebook and Stumbleupon and to instead strengthen my relationships. I need to enjoy those relationships and not take them for granted. Lately my roommate and I have been getting stressed over homework and our daily schedules. In previous semesters we would have stopped what we were doing and done something crazy like run (metaphorically…me running, that’s funny) to Taco Bell, or we would grab our guitars and write songs about the latest crush who doesn’t even know who we are, or we’d spend time staying up talking and laughing about our days.  Now when that happens we get upset or go someone else to work on stuff.  As juniors in college I don’t think we don’t have a ton of time for more moments like that. So why wait?

4.       Most importantly I need to keep reading more scripture daily and praying more. The best part about God is that he isn’t only at chapel, the dinner table before meals, or in bed before I go to bed.  He is with me every moment of every day and I can turn to him whenever I want. Even if it’s a prayer of, “God, there’s a really cute guy behind me, please let me make it up these stairs without falling.” He loves hearing from us. So just like a call to my parents on walks to and from class I can call on God.

“So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.” 1 Cor. 10:31

There Could Never be a More Beautiful You

So the other day I heard some guys say that they prefer to have a girl with long hair. Great, now not only am I at a disadvantage with my size 10 jeans but I also have short hair. It amazes me the things people say even when there is someone just like the person they are describing in the room. Talk about killing a girl’s confidence. Now I’ve often struggled with being one of the bigger girls in my group of friends and I’ve been learning to love the person that God created me to be. Accepting myself hasn’t always been easy but over the last few years I’ve learned to ignore what society tells me and to listen to what God has to tell me. I am beautiful.  Through my struggles I’ve had family and friends that have been there for me. It always seems to help turn to music and that is just what they led me to.  One day my mom sent me a song by Jonny Diaz, More Beautiful You. Another day one of my friends from camp sent me and two other girls a link to the song , Your Hands, by JJ Heller. And then one day I was having a really hard time accepting myself the way God created me to be and I went on Facebook. My roommate had heard this song on the radio by Mercy Me and it went like this,

The days will come when you don't have the strength 
When all you hear is you're not worth anything 
Wondering if you ever could be loved 
And if they truly saw your heart they'd see too much 

You're beautiful 
You're beautiful 
You are made so much more than all of this 
You're beautiful 
You're beautiful 
You are treasured, You are sacred, You are His 
You're beautiful 

I'm praying that you have the heart to find 
Cause you are more than what is hurting you tonight 
For all the lies you've held inside so long 
And they are nothing in the shadow of the cross 

You're beautiful 
You're beautiful 
You are made so much more than all of this 
You're beautiful 
You're beautiful 
You are treasured, You are sacred, You are His 
You're beautiful 


Before you ever took a breath 
Long before the world began 
Of all the wonders He possessed 
There was one more precious 
Of all the earth and skys above 
You're the one He madly loves 
Enough to die 

You're beautiful 
You're beautiful 
In His eyes 

You're beautiful 
You were meant for so much more than all of this 
You're beautiful 
You are treasured, You are sacred, You are His 
You're beautiful 
You're beautiful 
You're meant for so much more than all of this 
You're beautiful 
You're beautiful 
You are treasured, You are sacred, You are His

 The words, you are treasured, you are sacred, you are His, kept ringing in my ears. I belong in body and in soul to my precious Savior and Lord Jesus Christ.

Yes, there are days that I still struggle with the way I look. Maybe I’m having a bad hair day, or I don’t have time to put on makeup but it doesn’t mean that I’m not beautiful. God does not make mistakes and he did not make a mistake when he created me. We are created in his PERFECT, not almost perfect, but PERFECT image.