A Year and a Half Later!

Whew, where has the time gone?!?! I was thinking about this blog this afternoon and though it was maybe time to start writing again. I tell my students every day that to become better at writing we need to practice doing it ever day!

So a year ago I wrote about how we can't predict where we will be and we have to let God take control and boy have I sure done that. Moving to Florida right after I graduated from college seemed like the right thing to do. I really wanted to be a part of my parents new church in Naples and felt God calling me to be a part of that. Not to mention that I heard it would be a lot easier to find a teaching job and start my career down here.

Well I sat around all summer, enjoying the beautiful beaches along the gulf, not worrying about finding a job (trust me my dad didn't like that one very much), and spending LOTS of quality time with my mom. It didn't really dawn on my until about two months later that I had no friends besides my parents. This was where I hit the first speed bump. I thought that I had maybe made a mistake and that I should have gone some where else after graduating. However, I decided that I just had to stick it out and try to make friends. I went back to Wisconsin at the end of July for a wedding and had to a chance to see all those friends that I really missed.  Even though it was hard leaving them again, it was easier to go back to Florida when I knew my sister was moving down this time. I was so excited to have her around.

Throughout the summer I had been looking for a teaching job and now that summer was coming to an end I knew I HAD to find a job. I couldn't understand that out of the tons of teaching openings that I wasn't even getting calls for interviews. I was so frustrated and discouraged that I thought, maybe I wasn't supposed to teach right away. I started looking for other jobs and hadn't heard a lot from them. Meanwhile I decided to dye my hair pink. Now at the time I thought this was a really good idea, it would be fun and probably fade quickly. Since I wasn't getting interviews I went ahead and did it. And then...I heard my phone ring and lo and behold it was someone calling for a job interview! Yikes! I was thrilled even though it was just for a preschool position but it was a job! Of course the second I went tell my parents my dad said, "How do you think you'll get a job with pink hair!" First of all, this isn't little town USA anymore and no one really cares...at least that's what I was hoping. I had my interview two days later and they really wanted to find a spot for me so I two more interviews after that. I was just ready for them to offer me the job! As I waited for them to call back the next few days a friend had texted me and said that her principal was interview potential teachers the next day and that I should give her a call to fit me in. I was really nervous but called any way. She said she could fit me in and then there I was with my first teaching interview!

Now you'd probably like to think that I got the job...but no. After my interview she said that they didn't have anymore openings. In my head I'm thinking, "Well then why the heck did you just interview me." But then she said that I should give these two other schools a call because she knew they were still looking. (Maybe I should mention that school started in about two weeks). I frantically got back into my car, shaking with the potential of more interviews. Now driving through Florida in the middle of August, WITHOUT air conditioning isn't a combination when you want to look fresh and presentable for an interview, and as you know driving with the windows down isn't really an option when making a phone call. So there I was, windows rolled up sweating my butt off, working up the nerve to call these other principals. I called the first school and no one answered (which now I believe was a blessing from what I've heard). I called the second school and they asked me to come in right away for an interview! I drove to the school, sweaty and gross, but sure that God wasn't taking me through this crazy adventure for nothing! I got to the school, had my interview, and at the end they offered me a fifth grade teaching job! Praise God!

I've been teaching fifth grade all year and I absolutely love it. There are those tough days when none of my students want to listen but seeing their smiles when they realize they can be good at school is priceless. I also have the most amazing coworkers. They are so encouraging and have become such great friends of mine!

As for the church, things have been good but slow. We are continuing to see God's hand in everything we do and are growing as a congregation by a few each month. We have been blessed with amazing friends and have enjoyed getting to know each individual in our church.

God has been so good to me in the last year and I have grown so much through my experiences as a new Florida resident and a first year teacher. Each day is a new adventure and it is the perfect example of God's unconditional love.

A summer of trusting Jeremiah 29:11

A year ago I would have never thought that my family would be living in Florida. A year ago I would have never thought that my family would grow by one. A year ago I would have never thought my family would be living in three different states. And that is the awesome part about God’s plan for our lives; we don’t know what’s going to happen we just have to remember that God’s plan for us is perfect.

I feel that a lot of my posts are about trusting God’s plan but that’s because this past year I’ve really had to do just that. It’s easy to say that you trust God’s plan for your life but when you are hit with so many changes at once it’s hard to believe that everything is going to work out. This has been a summer of growth, a summer to test the strength of my relationship with God, and a summer to test the strength of my relationships with family and friends. I have never felt Satan trying so hard to make me fail. Situation after situation I felt that the world was against me and now as I write this post I have never felt stronger.

A few days ago I had a friend ask, “Where do you want to see yourself in a year?” All I could say was, teaching somewhere in an upper elementary classroom. My friend asked me where I thought I saw myself and I couldn’t decide where. The friend then asked me if I had to choose a place where it would be. I said I would have to think about it but I already knew the answer to that question. I didn’t want to choose a place because I want to be open to where ever God leads me. God knows the desires of my heart and he knows how strong I am and I trust he will guide me to the right school in the right town and state. It’s funny to try to answer questions about the future because most of the time we’re not going to be right.

This same friend had a plan while he was in college. He was going to stay single the first year, the second year he would start dating, find that special someone and get engaged by the time he was 22. Well that wasn’t exactly how it turned out.  We can’t predict how our life is going to be. We can’t plan it out step by step. Our God is so powerful and wonderful and he decides the, who, what, where, when, and why. (Yes, I feel like I’m back in elementary school with the 5 w’s.)  

I ran into an awkward situation the other day and if you know me you know that I enjoy awkward moments, however this one not so much. I prayed so much that night and felt so good afterwards and the next morning I received an email from a friend and this is what she sent me,

Hey Hannah!
I just want you to be encouraged and know that I prayed for you today. You were in my dream last night, and sometimes I feel that God puts people in my dreams so that I pray for them. So I hope that you are encouraged and know that I'm praying for God's love to pour out abundantly into your life and for His guidance in each step.
 

I honestly believe that I had such a great day yesterday because of her prayer. I enjoyed some time outside in the sun reading an awesome book that everyone should read, The Fred Factor, and then enjoyed some time with my sister. I had completely forgotten about what happened the day before and felt so good about myself. It was a step forward in the right direction.  Let’s just say God has been reminding me daily of his power and love.

                I love reading my old posts and since I haven’t written anything all summer it was really strange to read them all again. It’s hard to believe that this summer has only been three and a half months long because I don’t even feel like the same person that wrote all those other posts. I think it’s because I have fallen deeper in love with God and I don’t regret anything that happened this summer no matter how difficult it has been and continues to be. God is strong enough for all of us in those times or trials and we should never forget that.

Here am I, All of me, Take my life, it's all for Thee.

Holy crap! I do realize that it has been a very long time since I posted a new blog and now there are two blogs in one night. There is a good reason for that though. I couldn’t post the one about moving until it was announced in church and then I kind of forgot to post it after that. The other reason is because I have been extremely busy in the last few weeks because I only have a week left of school! I can’t believe that I am almost done with my junior year of college. I’m definitely growing up way too fast and I don’t like that. I was kind of hoping I could just stay young the rest of my life. Well I should probably update you on what’s going on in my life. Here’s a quick over view because let’s face it, I’m still busy and should probably be writing my lesson plan instead of writing another blog.

Plain and Simple: there are three things I learned this year.

1.     Someday your family is going to change.

Let’s face it eventually my family would have changed. It will continue to grow through marriage and having kids (which is awkward to say because I am now where near either of those options) but it will grow. I’m still not sure how the situation with Sandrina will go but my family has changed.

2.    Life is never easy but God is in control.

A year ago I would have never imagined that I would be where I am today and that my family would be moving to Florida and possibly adopting. God’s plan is so much greater than I could ever have imagined. And let me tell you it has definitely not been an easy ride. There are still roadblocks that pop up but God is helping us through those each day, we just have to continue to rely on him and live to love the way he loves us.

3.    Be yourself.

If there was one thing I wish I could change it would be that since I got to college I wouldn’t have been so afraid to be the person God created me to be. I have listened to what movies, t.v, and magazines tell me I should be way too long and I’m working towards loving myself the way God perfectly and specially created me to be. The thing wrong with me is that I don’t fully love myself the way I should. I promise this will change because when you realize there are more important things in life than how you dress or how much you weigh, you won’t waste any more time worry about the worldly things. 

Embracing Change

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “Plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.”

                                      Jeremiah 29:11

It’s really easy to read the verse and believe it. God’s plan for us is perfect and it gives us a hope for the future. It’s harder to believe that whole heartedly when difficult events are going on in life. These last nine months have been very challenging, draining, emotional, and really hard to understand. So I guess with that I should probably start to write from the very beginning.

Nine months ago my family all helped out at Kids Camp. It’s something our church college group organizes, where kids from Milwaukee and Chicago can come to Gibbsville and experience a weekend out of the city. It was a powerful weekend and on the last night we had a bonfire. Sam sat by the fire talking to this girl about life and how she just really wished she could live here in Gibbsville and have a family. Well of course our hearts were touched and we wanted to help her. We kind of jokingly told my dad we should adopt her. We always wanted out parents to adopt a baby…apparently we thought it would be the same to welcome a 15 year old into the family. Well only a few months later and several weekend visits Sandrina moved in with us. She spent Thanksgiving with our family and it had been fun yet challenging. I knew that Christmas break was really going to challenge me because by being at school I didn’t really have to confront the change yet. And oh boy was I right about being challenged during that month. I don’t think I have ever been this jealous before. It has been really difficult and hurtful for me to see my dad give his attention to Sandrina when I have been fighting for it since I can remember with youth group kids and church events. It continues to be difficult and somehow I have to trust that everything is going to work out and be okay. Just gotta keep telling myself, God’s plan is perfect.

In addition with struggling to embrace this change in our family I have struggled with being single. I know that God’s timing is perfect but it just had been on my mind a lot because of close friends being in relationships and wanting that too. Plus for some reason I thought having a boyfriend would at least be one good thing going on in my life. Well it turns out God hasn’t agreed with me and like I keep telling myself that if I have to wait for the right guy to come along who is going to love and cherish me the way God does then I will just keep on waiting. When that guy finally comes along it will be that much more rewarding and special. Just gotta keep telling myself, God’s plan is perfect.

Now on top of everything on going with Sandrina and singleness God, has surprised us by leading our family in a new direction.  A year ago my parents had mentioned to us kids that my dad had this desire and dream to start a church and it just so happened that they were looking to start a few new churches in Florida. Wow Florida, seems pretty cool huh, well at the time I guess that whole distance thing didn’t cross my mind. Well that dream my dad has is coming true. So exciting and yet so scary. Yep you heard me correctly, my family is moving to Florida at the end of this summer to start a church. This would be a lot easier if we didn’t have so many amazing friends within our church, a great community and family nearby. It’s hard not to cry when I think about how many changes there are going to be. I’ve always lived close to my Aunt Gert (if you’ve met her you can imagine how hard this is for us) and I just can’t imagine living 24 hours away from her. That’s not exactly a trip you can make to go out to lunch, hangout for the night, or have sleepovers (yes we’re that cool). I can’t imagine moving away from the friends I have grown so close to since I graduated high school. One of the reasons I decided to go to Hope was because it was still pretty close to home….well that’s about to change. But I keep reminding myself that God provides and continues to show us how.

My awesome, wise, and witty brother has decided to come to Hope and I seriously could not be more thankful. He has been such a blessing in my life and such a great role model for me. Having him here for my last year (scary) is going to be so much fun. My roommate and I already decided that we’re going to every single one of his home football games and yell stupid things that he will hope not to hear. I’m not sure what’s going to happen with Sandrina but I just have a really good feeling that it’s all going to work out. God doesn’t give us more than we can handle and I know that will remain true. I do understand now that it doesn’t always mean it’s going to be easy breezy. As for being single, I know that it’s going to take a really unique and special guy to be with me.  So I guess I can wait.

To finish this blog I want to leave you with a few words and a song.

The song is Before the Morning by Josh Wilson. Sam had me listen to it the other day and it couldn’t be more fitting for what we have been going through. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=New8i_eX3x8

The words I want to leave with are from Romans 8:28 and it says this,

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

Patience

So you know how you look back at something you wrote in middle school and you just keep laughing at how ridiculous you were when you actually thought you were really cool? I just experienced that. I have just spent two hours on myspace looking at the stupid pictures I thought I looked “hot” in and the image I was trying to portray. Ridiculous. But I guess that is part of middle school. I think that’s where it starts at least. When you start realizing you care what you look like, what you wear, if your hair is frizzy or glued down to your head. (horrible middle school fashion at the time). And from that point on beauty and image just become part of your everyday life. Stupid middle school. Middle school boys weren’t even cute at that stage. Seriously, go back to a year book and look at how awkward everyone looks. J So this whole myspace and image incident, what has come of it?

I don’t know. I wrote this last night and tonight I just have no clue where I was going with that. But I do know that tonight I was reminded again that God created me in his perfect image. It doesn’t matter if there isn’t a single guy at Hope College, land of pretty skinny girls, good looking guys and RELATIONSHIPS, that doesn’t think I’m attractive because there is some guy out there will cherish me as much as God does. And that guy will be worth the painful wait. 

Growing Up

So this week has been a bit of an emotional roller coaster for me. Okay when I say this week I mean the last two days.  Sunday afternoon I did not want to go back to Hope because all I wanted to do was stay at home and be with my family.  I knew that the next four weeks would happen all too quick and I had way too much to do in that little time. Majorly stressed out after spring break, which didn’t leave me feeling ready to conquer the rest of the semester, I hadn’t back to my house on campus. Sunday night I cried. All I could do was cry and think about everything that I had to do, all the changes that were going on, and how much I missed my whole family. Monday morning I went to class and chapel and then cried on the phone to my mom. Once again I was thinking of all those same things and other things that were brought up again. I had the afternoon to do homework and took a little nap and then journeyed over to my next class. I cried in class, for a completely different reason than any already stated. But when I left that class there was one thing that told me I was going to be okay.

Saturday, March 19, one of my professors passed away. She was in her early 30’s and pregnant with her first child. She died after suffering complications due to premature childbirth. Her baby boy Solomon is still living and still in the hospital getting stronger each day.

Professor Young was one of the craziest professors I ever had. She had more energy and joy on her worst day than I had on my best. She didn’t have an inside voice and she rarely ever stopped talking. She taught my more about myself in one chaotic, unorganized class than any of my other profs. And if there is one thing she taught me it is always be thankful for what we have.

I have been complaining and worried about what my life is going to be like these last couple of weeks: where will I live when I graduate? Will I be able to find a teaching job? Will I get married? Will I ever see my college friends again? I have been worry about things that God has planned already. I didn’t feel in control because I never was in control. It’s easy to say I will but all my trust in God, it’s a lot harder to do. There is a bible verse that my roomie and I have had on our white board all year that I think is a great reminder for everyone.

“Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about the things we cannot see.” Hebrews 11:1

There is also a song that I heard for the first time this week. It’s by Matthew West and it’s called The Reason for the World. Here’s the link, take a few minutes to really listen to it. Love you all!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=swKPS9q7rMU

The Missing Piece Meets the BIG O

Blog time: YAY!

I enjoy every moment I get to sit down and add to this blog. It is so great to just write about what’s on my mind.  Now as some of you may know the title of this blog is the title of a book written by Shel Silverstein. I got three books in the mail today from my awesome Aunt Joy.  It was great to read them this afternoon and reflect on what their message was.

Lately I have just been feeling well about who I am. I haven’t been spending as much time worrying about what I am wearing or what my hair looks or if my makeup is perfect. I’m working on finding the natural beauty that God has given me and continue to embrace it each day. For the last five days I have been minimizing my makeup.  Today I started the next thing and that is not spending so much time on my hair. The straightener and blow dryer have done enough damage to my hair that I need to stop doing that, plus God has given these wavy curls so why shouldn’t I embrace those too.

So with that little update I will now explain these books.

The Missing Piece – Shel Silverstein

The Missing Piece Meets the BIG O – Shel Silverstein

You are Special – Max Lucado

I sat down during lunch and read through all three of them and although all of them were really great the one that stuck out to me the most of the second one listed there. I’ll write it up for you. It shouldn’t take that long to read but it will be worth it when you are done

The missing piece sat alone…

waiting for someone to come along and take it somewhere.

Some fit…

But could not roll.

Others could roll but did not fit.

One didn’t know a thing about fitting.

And another didn’t know a thing about anything.

One was too delicate.

One put it on a pedestal…

And left it there.

Some had too many missing pieces.

Some had too many pieces, period.

It learned to hide from the hungry ones.

More came. Some looked too closely,

Others rolled right by without noticing.

It tried to make itself more attractive…

It didn’t help.

It tried to be flashy

But that just frightened away the shy ones.

At last one came along that fit just right.

But all of a sudden…

The missing piece began to grow!

And grow!

“I didn’t know you were going to grow.”

“I didn’t know it either,” said the missing piece.

“I’m lookin’ for my missin’ piece, one that won’t increase….”

And then one day, one came along who looked different.

“What do you want of me?” asked the missing piece.

“Nothing.”

“What do you need from me?”

“Nothing.”

“Who are you?” asked the missing piece.

“I am the Big O,” said the Big O.

“I think you are the one I have been waiting for,” said the missing piece. “Maybe I am your missing piece.”

“But I am not missing piece,” said the Big O.

“There is no place you would fit.”

“That is too bad,” said the missing piece.

“I was hoping that perhaps I could roll with you…”

“You cannot roll with me,” said the Big O, “but perhaps you can roll by yourself.”

“By myself? A missing piece cannot roll by itself.”

“Have you ever tried?” asked the Big O.

“But I have sharp corners,” said the missing piece. “I am not shaped for rolling.”

“Corners wear off,” said the Big O, “and shapes change, Anyhow, I must say good-bye. Perhaps we will meet again….”

And away it rolled.

The missing piece was alone again.

For a long time it just sat there.

Then…

Slowly…

It lifted itself up on one end…

And flopped over.

Then lift…pull…flop…

It began to move forward…

And soon its edges began to wear off…

Liftpullflopliftpullflop…

And its shape began to change…

And then it was bumping instead of flopping…

And then it was bouncing instead of bumping…

And then it was rolling instead of bouncing…

And it didn’t know where and it didn’t care.

It was rolling!

I can start rolling by myself and stop trying to be someone’s missing piece. And soon enough when I’m rolling along all be able to roll beside someone else.