So this week has been a bit of an emotional roller coaster for me. Okay when I say this week I mean the last two days. Sunday afternoon I did not want to go back to Hope because all I wanted to do was stay at home and be with my family. I knew that the next four weeks would happen all too quick and I had way too much to do in that little time. Majorly stressed out after spring break, which didn’t leave me feeling ready to conquer the rest of the semester, I hadn’t back to my house on campus. Sunday night I cried. All I could do was cry and think about everything that I had to do, all the changes that were going on, and how much I missed my whole family. Monday morning I went to class and chapel and then cried on the phone to my mom. Once again I was thinking of all those same things and other things that were brought up again. I had the afternoon to do homework and took a little nap and then journeyed over to my next class. I cried in class, for a completely different reason than any already stated. But when I left that class there was one thing that told me I was going to be okay.
Saturday, March 19, one of my professors passed away. She was in her early 30’s and pregnant with her first child. She died after suffering complications due to premature childbirth. Her baby boy Solomon is still living and still in the hospital getting stronger each day.
Professor Young was one of the craziest professors I ever had. She had more energy and joy on her worst day than I had on my best. She didn’t have an inside voice and she rarely ever stopped talking. She taught my more about myself in one chaotic, unorganized class than any of my other profs. And if there is one thing she taught me it is always be thankful for what we have.
I have been complaining and worried about what my life is going to be like these last couple of weeks: where will I live when I graduate? Will I be able to find a teaching job? Will I get married? Will I ever see my college friends again? I have been worry about things that God has planned already. I didn’t feel in control because I never was in control. It’s easy to say I will but all my trust in God, it’s a lot harder to do. There is a bible verse that my roomie and I have had on our white board all year that I think is a great reminder for everyone.
“Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about the things we cannot see.” Hebrews 11:1
There is also a song that I heard for the first time this week. It’s by Matthew West and it’s called The Reason for the World. Here’s the link, take a few minutes to really listen to it. Love you all!
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